


You're Not Alone

by ChandlersDemon



Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Chansaw, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, One-Shot, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-28
Updated: 2018-02-28
Packaged: 2019-03-25 05:11:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13827171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChandlersDemon/pseuds/ChandlersDemon
Summary: Looking down at the girl, Heather frowned as the girl came to wrap her arms around her waist.Holding her close was all she could do in that moment, little did she know, that was all she had asked for.





	You're Not Alone

**Author's Note:**

> An AU were,  
> Ram and Kurt are dead gay lovers, both shot dead by J.D.,  
> Duke and Mac are a thing, fucking cuties,  
> J.D. blew up, R.I.P,  
> Chandler somehow survived drinking drain cleaner, we don't question it,  
> Veronica and Chandler are a thing.   
> Embrace it, love it, enjoy it. :)

Heather grabbed the blue clad girl's wrist, her silver eyes looking directly back into Veronica's scared mocha brown ones.  
The winter breeze blew by, chilling Heather to her core as she stood silent.  
She had no words.  
She didn't know what to say.  
For once in her life it wasn't time to make a sarcastic remark, or be a complete bitch, no...  
For once she felt legitimate pain as she slowly ran the pad of her thumb over the girl's massacred wrist.

"Veronica... Honey..." 

Heather looked down at the girl's wrist, her silver eyes glazed over in a dull hue as she looked at the cuts.  
Red lines zig-zagged all across the girl's wrist from what the blonde could see.   
Veronica had used the excuse that they had been nothing more than cat scratches, but Heather knew very well that the brunette didn't own a cat.   
She had given the girl the benefit of the doubt that day, in front of Duke and Mac who clearly knew just as Chandler had known herself.  
They all had known better than to pry answers out of the younger brunette, it was just how they had come to be.   
After everything that happened, Heather knew there would be massive ups and downs in their lives, but never once did she chose to think the girl she loved would turn to a razor blade for comfort that she could provide.  
Her views on the situation caused her to frown.  
She could see the frustration clear in Veronica's eyes as she looked back up at her, sorrow clear in her eyes as she listened to the girl's words. 

"I fucked up, Heather, okay? You don't have to worry about me anymore, you don't have to-" 

Bending down, Heather wrapped her arms around the brunette.  
Her hold on the girl's wrist no longer existed as Veronica hugged her tightly.  
The girl clad in blue held Heather tightly, as if she were going to disappear at any given moment.  
Her eyes were closed as she rested her head against the girl's chest, her tears coming to stain the blonde's bright red jacket.

Originally, their plans had been to walk down to the 7-11 that wasn't too far from the brunette's house.  
They were just going to spend time together and to enjoy the beautiful winter afternoon.  
It was cold out, no doubt, but the two hadn't cared at all.  
They were with one another, and to them, it was all that mattered.  
Heather hadn't expected for them to be out for long, nor had she expected to find the girl she loved with more cuts covering her wrists.  
It pained her to see that, to hold her in her arms and listen to her cry against her chest.  
She wanted nothing more than to make the pain go away, but that would never happen.  
What had happened between the two, what had happened in general, it was traumatizing.   
Heather came to terms with the fact that Veronica would have definite mental issues with everything, and that she'd take it differently, she understood that..  
What she didn't understand was why the girl would turn to cutting herself to pieces instead of talking to Heather, who had devoted her existence to the girl.

The frigid feel of snow connecting with her skin brought her out of her thoughts as she continued to run her hand up and down the girl's back.  
It had begun to snow and they were too caught up in their current situation, unable to really enjoy what they had come out to enjoy.  
Heather let the words leave her mouth.  
While she didn't believe them herself, she knew it was the right thing to say in that moment whether she wanted to say it or not.

"You're okay, Ronnie.. You're alright.."

They stood there, holding one another like the cold breeze was going to take the other away.  
Heather could feel the tears slowly slip down her cheeks, freeze against her skin as the wind blew by.  
Holding the girl close was all she could do.  
What had been done, had been done.  
She couldn't go back in time and stop what had happened, she hadn't known.  
A part of her had believed that Veronica would heal on her own, but Christ had Heather been wrong.  
The cuts only continued to add up and everyday her Veronica slowly seemed to fade away into the hole she had been digging.

Running her hand up and down the girl's back, Heather rested her cheek atop the girl's head, holding her close as she shushed her gently.  
Veronica had broken down in her arms once before, but not as harshly as she was now.  
The girl was barely breathing evenly and Heather was sure if she hadn't softly counted the seconds, the girl would've hyperventilated.   
She never wanted to live to see the day where her girl in blue was falling apart piece by piece.  
Heather knew that in some way she could help her, but a part of her understood that she couldn't help the girl unless she let her in.

Veronica pulled out of the hug, wiping her eyes vigorously as she looked into Heather's own silver gaze.  
A frown slowly came to rest on the blonde's face and Veronica had to look away as a cry threatened to leave her once more.  
The pain that shook her body was immense as she looked back to Heather, her vision slightly blurred by her own tears that continued to fall.

"It's not okay! I cut myself, again, Heather. After-After you told me to stop! Heather, I promised you-"

In that moment, she broke.  
Unable to finish her sentence, the girl placed a hand over her mouth as she let out a cry for the world to hear.  
The way her whines and cries came out painfully, hurt Heather.  
Veronica was losing her strength to even cry at this point.  
Her lungs burned in her chest and she could hear her heart pounding in her ears as she continued to cry harshly into the winter air, oblivious to the touch of Heather's hand coming to rest on her back.

"Veronica,it's okay. You-"

"It's not fucking okay, Heather. I fucking lied to you! How is that okay? I lied to you and went home that night and slit my god damn wrists, how the fuck is that okay?" 

Veronica had whipped around at that point, facing Heather with frustration and tears in her eyes.  
Fear flickered in her eyes as she watched the blonde go to say something, but close her mouth.  
Her eyes closed in that moment and all Veronica did was break.  
She couldn't stop the cries that continued to leave her and shake her body as she stood there, watching Heather.

Heather's heart ceased to beat as she looked into Veronica's eyes.  
Her heart cracked as she hadn't noticed the fear lining her lover's eyes.  
Veronica was scared.  
She was crying and she was scared.  
She wasn't scared of the fact that Heather had found out..  
 _Veronica was scared about what Heather thought of her..._

Blinking slowly, Heather breathed in the frigid air, wincing slightly as it burned her nostrils.  
She hadn't wanted to cry.  
She was meant to be strong for the brunette breaking down before her.

Taking a small step forward, Heather stood a few inches away from her girlfriend.  
Reaching her hand out, her delicate fingers came to rest beneath Veronica's cold skin, resting beneath her chin.  
Heather frowned at how the girl's jaw tensed as she touched her.  
How Veronica  _winced_ under the older girl's touch. 

"Veronica, Darling," 

Slowly guiding the brunette's chin to be parallel with the snowy floor below, their eyes connected.  
Veronica's mocha brown gaze full of fear and brimmed with tears,  
Heather's silver gaze full of concern and lined with self-hatred.  
She could've stopped this..  
All of this.  
Saved Veronica from the voices in her head, but she didn't.  
Because she hadn't known.  
Heather forced a sympathetic smile as she began to speak.

"I don't care that you lied to me."

Veronica opened her mouth to speak quickly, but Heather's near stern look caused her to close her mouth.  
In situations like this, Veronica knew better than to argue with the blonde.  
She allowed her to continue, but frustration grew clear in her features with Heather's next words.

"Plenty of people do-"

"They shouldn't." 

Veronica scowled, cutting the girl off.  
The thought of people lying to the one she loved hurt her.  
She had grown protective of Heather even though she knew it would end bad.  
In that moment she spoke her mind and let the words leave her mouth, softly, quietly.

"Lying hurts.. And no one should ever hurt you." 

The small smile that came to Heather's lips, brought a twinkle to Veronica's eyes that the blonde hadn't seen before.  
Heather slowly moved the girl's head closer to her, kissing her forehead as she pulled her away, leaving them only a few inches apart.

It hurt Veronica to know that so many people had hurt Heather.  
Had wronged her.  
Back when they weren't together, Veronica gave little care to the enemies the blonde had made, but nowadays she watched her closely.   
The thought ran through Veronica's head.   
The thought of people hurting Heather...  
 _Her Heather.._

"I know, Honey.. We don't have control over what happened in the past.. But.." 

Veronica winced as Heather looked directly into her eye's.  
She could see the emotion behind the girl's steel colored eyes and in that moment, she understood the meaning behind the words.  
There was always more to Heather Chandler than anyone could have ever known.  
The suicide note that JD had forced her to write, half of what she had written, it had been true.  
Heather had told her herself, and that's what would always pain the brunette.  
Knowing that all in the past, everything she did, she hid behind a mask.  
Veronica knew that she was one of, if not, the only person who ever got to see behind Heather's mask, and a part of her felt honored..  
Although she felt honored, she still felt sorrow fill her as they would walk into school every morning and the girl would change entirely from when they had shared a night together.

Heather slowly used her free hand taking the girl's wrist in her gentle hold.  
Frowning as she felt Veronica tense once more, she slowly let her hold on the girl's chin go.  
Veronica followed her gaze as they both looked down, looking at the girl's massacred wrist.

Veronica's skin burned from the girl's soft touch.  
Her wrist throbbing from that morning's newly added additions and the way the pressure from the bandage squeezed her skin.  
She slowly looked up from her wrist, wanting to pull away as Heather slowly ran her thumb over her fingers.

"I don't care about all that.." 

Heather slowly brought her head up, looking back into Veronica's scared gaze.  
She couldn't stop the tears that had slowly began to slip down her cheeks.  
Her silver eyes dulled and glazed over in a sorrowful hue as she spoke.

"What I care about... Is you." 

Bringing the girl close to her once more, her lips rested against the girl's forehead.  
They didn't speak, all she did was rest her lips upon the girl's forehead before pulling away to look back into her eyes.  
Unable to get the chance to see her lover's eyes, Veronica clung to the girl for dear life as she began to cry.  
Coming to rest her head down against the brunette's, Heather closed her eyes as tears slowly tread patterns down her cheeks.  
In that moment she was forced to listen to the girl's cries, her pained whimpers, her forced whines as she dug her head against the girl's chest.

Heather broke the silence.  
Although she hadn't wanted to, her words needed to be heard and she went against her better judgement.

"I care about the fact that you're hurting yourself, Ronnie.. What I care about is helping you, but you're not letting me help you. That hurts me, Veronica. I want to help me, but you're being a stubborn bitch and not letting me." 

A small laugh fell in with her words as she felt Veronica softly laugh against her chest.  
She knew the girl's weaknesses, and she knew how to place a smile on her face.   
Sadly, in that moment it hadn't been enough. 

Veronica slowly pulled away, wiping her eyes as she looked back at Heather.  
A small smile rested against her lips as she tried to stop the tears that continued to fly down her cheeks.  
Her whimpers and whines had subsided, but her tone was serious as she spoke quietly.

"I didn't want you to worry about me, Heather." 

"You're making me worry more since you won't let me help you" 

Heather snapped her response at the girl.  
Unforeseen anger entered her silver eyes, darkening them ever so slightly as Veronica winced.

The brunette took a small step back, clearly scared with the blonde's tone.

Heather sighed as she slowly pulled the girl back in for a hug, kissing her firmly on her head as she held her close, 

"You're not a bother to me, Veronica. I'm your girlfriend for fucks sake, please, don't think you can't come to me." 

Heather let out a weak laugh.  
She pulled away ever so slightly, they still remained touching, but she wanted to look into the girl's eyes.  
She could see the fear that was present within Veronica's eyes, but something new was there that she hadn't seen before.   
 _Comfort._  
Heather was glad that Veronica finally fell back into a comfort zone.  
Feeling as though she had been the reason the girl was uncomfortable had shaken her slightly, but as Veronica brought Heather back into a hug, her head rested in the crook of Heather's neck, her warm breath tickling the blonde's neck as she spoke quietly.

"I'm sorry, Heather." 

Veronica held the red clad girl close.  
In that moment, there was nothing, but them. 

The breeze blew by, carrying away their fears, their anger, their pain...  
It carried away the entire situation and left only them.  
As the breeze picked up and the snow started to fall harder, Veronica let out a small laugh as she felt a shiver run through Heather's body.

"Cold?" 

Veronica asked as she slowly pulled away, laughing more as the girl pulled her back.

"Yes, and you're my only source of warmth, so don't pull away." 

Heather slipped her hands into the girl's pockets, snuggling herself closer to the girl as she let a small laugh of her own out.   
Silence followed Heather's words and in that moment, Veronica spoke, bringing up their past conversation.

"I meant what I said, Heather.. I'm sorry that I didn't tell-"

Heather didn't let the girl finish as she cupped her cheeks with her cold hands, warmth flooding through both of them as their lips connected.  
The kiss was short and sweet.  
Heather spoke as they finished, her tone slightly shaking, possibly emphasizing that she was cold and it was just to get Veronica to get a move on.

"Enough with the sentimental bullshit, I'm not trying to turn into a human snowman, let's go." 

Veronica laughed as Heather took her hand and started down the street at a brisk pace.  
Now they laughed and smiled, yet only a few moments ago they had been in tears.  
She could see the pain still evident in Heather's eyes as they walked along, Heather having started a conversation of how her and McNamara had been trapped in a cabin once during a snow storm.  
As she spoke, Veronica couldn't help, but notice the little things that Heather did that showed she was still hurting from their recent conversation.  
When they came up on Veronica's house, Veronica stopped Heather, catching the blonde by surprise as she kissed her firmly.

Heather's eyes had widened in that moment, but nonetheless she had kissed back until Veronica had pulled away, bringing the girl into a final hug.

_"I'm okay, Heather.. I promise.."_  


End file.
